Resolution and fear

Here's the reflection I offered at today's lunchtime Eucharist at St Martin-in-the-Fields:

Your face, set like flint,
set towards Jerusalem,
bears the mark of the cross.
You carry the cross
in the resolution
written on
your features.
Death is the choice,
the decision,
the destiny,
revealed
in the blood,
sweat and tears
secreted
from
your face
in prayerful questions,
prophetic grief,
pain-full acceptance,
then
imprinted on
Veronica’s veil.

The Gospels are each structured in two parts; first the early part of Jesus’ life focused on his ministry, then Holy Week and the events leading to it. In Luke’s Gospel one indication of the transition from part one of the Gospel to part two is the repeated phrase, his face was set toward Jerusalem.

This is a phrase which has echoes in today’s reading from Isaiah (Isaiah 50.4-9a) where we hear of the suffering servant - a figure the Church has always interpreted as being Jesus although the original meaning was the people of Israel - setting his face like flint on the path he has to follow. This character does not turn backwards despite being tortured and insulted - struck on the back, the hair pulled from his beard, and spat at. All, in the Christian tradition, seen as prefiguring what Christ experienced after his arrest and from which he did not turn back.

We see Jesus with his face set like flint in our Gospel reading (John 13.21-32), particularly when he says to Judas, ‘Do quickly what you are going to do.’ Jesus clearly knows what Judas is planning, but makes no attempt to dissuade Judas from his act of betrayal that will lead to Jesus’ arrest. What Judas is about to do is necessary to the path that Jesus is walking and therefore he accepts what is about to happen. To do so, took a huge degree of resolution.

Yet it was not a resolution that was unaware of the dangers he faced or that did not feel fear or anxiety at the prospect of facing those dangers. Instead, virtually the first thing that we read in today’s Gospel is that Jesus was troubled in spirit. Later, that same night in the Garden of Gethsemene, we read that he was sorrowful and troubled and said to his disciples that his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

We are seeing similar resolution in those who are on the frontline of the fight against Covid-19. During the Lent Oasis on Palm Sunday, Sue Wilson and I were wondering how Jesus might have felt at the point that he mounted the donkey to ride into Jerusalem. Later, Sue saw a TV news report and emailed to say, ‘I have just heard a young doctor on TV talking about that moment in the morning before he leaves his house, but knows he has to go to save lives … That’s the moment, that’s what Jesus would have felt. That moment when you steel yourself to do what you know you must despite the dangers involved. That’s what Jesus would have felt, that’s what lies behind these phrases of setting your face like flint and setting his face toward Jerusalem.

We need a similar resolution to get through these days; a resolution that faces our fears if we can, just as Jesus set his face toward Jerusalem knowing what awaited him there. A resolution based on knowledge of ourselves, just as Jesus washed the feet of disciples because he knew who he was and what he was about to do. By learning more about our fears or anxiety we can address the beliefs about ourselves that are behind our anxiety.

In addition to these factors, the Mental Health Foundation also suggest that our resolution can be helped by activity. The once-a-day exercise that the Government currently recommends requires concentration, and can take our mind off our fear and anxiety. Enjoying healthy food and drink in moderation, as Jesus clearly did when meeting with his disciples, will affect our mood. The kind of relaxation techniques that are encouraged in our meditation and silence sessions can help with the mental and physical feelings of fear. As can the feeling of being connected to something bigger than ourselves through faith and being within a valuable support network, like this congregation. We often think of the disciples in terms of their failure to support Jesus in his time of need, yet they were the people – however flawed - with whom he wanted to be at the Last Supper and those that he wanted with him in Gethsemene as he talked his fears and anxieties through with God.

Learning and practising a similar resolution to that of Christ is, this year, part of the act and art of following practically and actually in the Christ’s footsteps as he walks through Holy Week and we walk through this pandemic. We will need a similar resolution to come through the pandemic and the resulting lockdown, but we recognise that it is a resolution gained through facing fear, knowing ourselves, being good to ourselves, and being with others (virtually, if not in person). Jesus finds that resolution as he talks with God, spends time with his disciples, and knows himself. May it be so for each one of us. Amen.

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John Prine - When I Get To Heaven.

Start:Stop - Prayers on the Move

Bible reading

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and agitated. Then he said to them, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.” And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.” (Matthew 26. 36 – 39)

Meditation

Jesus prayed on the night before he died but his disciples struggled to pray with him. It might seem difficult to know how to pray, but it may easier than you think. After all, Jesus simply spoke to God about the anguish he was feeling. We could think of praying as being a bit like Facebook: wherever you are you can check in to share your status, you can show you ‘like’ something, and you can share information about causes close to your heart.

Prayers on the Move is a project, which you may have seen advertised on public transport networks around the country, that encourages people to give praying a go, or to try doing it more often, because praying helps develop our spirituality and enables us to connect with something bigger than ourselves.

Jesus prayed while he was ‘on the move’; here he prays after the Last Supper and just before his arrest. You could also try praying ‘on the move’: when you see a homeless teenager on the street, or as you walk to meet a friend who’s just found out that his dad’s got cancer. In these prayers you’re responding to real situations in real time, and asking God to be a part of them.

Once you’ve done this for a while, or if this approach doesn’t work for you, you may want to try to carve out a moment or two each day when you can take a deep breath and think and reflect on what’s going on, deep inside, at the edge of your consciousness. It doesn’t matter when this time is, but if it’s possible to make it roughly the same time each day, this will help you to get into a rhythm.

Like Jesus in Gethsemene, you may find it useful to reflect on:

· What has the past 24 hours been like – good or bad?
· Was there anything stressful or upsetting? Did you handle it well?
· Is there anyone you’ve let down? Did you let yourself down?
· Is there anyone who needs help, either people you know or people in the news?
· Is there anything, however small, to be grateful for?

This moment of prayer in a busy day may be just what you need to calm your mind and refresh your spirit, and it may also help you to focus on something beyond your own immediate needs and worries.

See http://prayersonthemove.com/ where you can find a prayer booklet and download a free ‘Prayers on the Move’ app, which includes one-minute audio files of prayers and allows you to set an alert to remind you to pray.

Prayers

O Lord, you know how busy I must be this day. If I forget you, do not forget me.

Father God, teach me to pray not what I want, but what you want.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Father God, teach me to pray not what I want, but what you want.

So many voices all around tell me what to do. Help me to listen to the still, small voice of truth.

Father God, teach me to pray not what I want, but what you want.

I’ll never earn enough if I measure my wealth in numbers. Make me rich in love.

Father God, teach me to pray not what I want, but what you want.

Give me a heart for simple things, friends and family, justice and love, food and wine. And make me thankful.

Father God, teach me to pray not what I want, but what you want.

Blessing

Being remembered by you, serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what can be changed, hearing the still, small voice of truth, becoming rich in love. May all these blessings of almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, rest upon you and remain with you always. Amen.

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Prayers on the Move with Archbishop of Canterbury - How to Pray.