Resolution and fear

Here's the reflection I offered at today's lunchtime Eucharist at St Martin-in-the-Fields:

Your face, set like flint,
set towards Jerusalem,
bears the mark of the cross.
You carry the cross
in the resolution
written on
your features.
Death is the choice,
the decision,
the destiny,
revealed
in the blood,
sweat and tears
secreted
from
your face
in prayerful questions,
prophetic grief,
pain-full acceptance,
then
imprinted on
Veronica’s veil.

The Gospels are each structured in two parts; first the early part of Jesus’ life focused on his ministry, then Holy Week and the events leading to it. In Luke’s Gospel one indication of the transition from part one of the Gospel to part two is the repeated phrase, his face was set toward Jerusalem.

This is a phrase which has echoes in today’s reading from Isaiah (Isaiah 50.4-9a) where we hear of the suffering servant - a figure the Church has always interpreted as being Jesus although the original meaning was the people of Israel - setting his face like flint on the path he has to follow. This character does not turn backwards despite being tortured and insulted - struck on the back, the hair pulled from his beard, and spat at. All, in the Christian tradition, seen as prefiguring what Christ experienced after his arrest and from which he did not turn back.

We see Jesus with his face set like flint in our Gospel reading (John 13.21-32), particularly when he says to Judas, ‘Do quickly what you are going to do.’ Jesus clearly knows what Judas is planning, but makes no attempt to dissuade Judas from his act of betrayal that will lead to Jesus’ arrest. What Judas is about to do is necessary to the path that Jesus is walking and therefore he accepts what is about to happen. To do so, took a huge degree of resolution.

Yet it was not a resolution that was unaware of the dangers he faced or that did not feel fear or anxiety at the prospect of facing those dangers. Instead, virtually the first thing that we read in today’s Gospel is that Jesus was troubled in spirit. Later, that same night in the Garden of Gethsemene, we read that he was sorrowful and troubled and said to his disciples that his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

We are seeing similar resolution in those who are on the frontline of the fight against Covid-19. During the Lent Oasis on Palm Sunday, Sue Wilson and I were wondering how Jesus might have felt at the point that he mounted the donkey to ride into Jerusalem. Later, Sue saw a TV news report and emailed to say, ‘I have just heard a young doctor on TV talking about that moment in the morning before he leaves his house, but knows he has to go to save lives … That’s the moment, that’s what Jesus would have felt. That moment when you steel yourself to do what you know you must despite the dangers involved. That’s what Jesus would have felt, that’s what lies behind these phrases of setting your face like flint and setting his face toward Jerusalem.

We need a similar resolution to get through these days; a resolution that faces our fears if we can, just as Jesus set his face toward Jerusalem knowing what awaited him there. A resolution based on knowledge of ourselves, just as Jesus washed the feet of disciples because he knew who he was and what he was about to do. By learning more about our fears or anxiety we can address the beliefs about ourselves that are behind our anxiety.

In addition to these factors, the Mental Health Foundation also suggest that our resolution can be helped by activity. The once-a-day exercise that the Government currently recommends requires concentration, and can take our mind off our fear and anxiety. Enjoying healthy food and drink in moderation, as Jesus clearly did when meeting with his disciples, will affect our mood. The kind of relaxation techniques that are encouraged in our meditation and silence sessions can help with the mental and physical feelings of fear. As can the feeling of being connected to something bigger than ourselves through faith and being within a valuable support network, like this congregation. We often think of the disciples in terms of their failure to support Jesus in his time of need, yet they were the people – however flawed - with whom he wanted to be at the Last Supper and those that he wanted with him in Gethsemene as he talked his fears and anxieties through with God.

Learning and practising a similar resolution to that of Christ is, this year, part of the act and art of following practically and actually in the Christ’s footsteps as he walks through Holy Week and we walk through this pandemic. We will need a similar resolution to come through the pandemic and the resulting lockdown, but we recognise that it is a resolution gained through facing fear, knowing ourselves, being good to ourselves, and being with others (virtually, if not in person). Jesus finds that resolution as he talks with God, spends time with his disciples, and knows himself. May it be so for each one of us. Amen.

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John Prine - When I Get To Heaven.