When I go into school’s I often tell a part of my testimony. How I am fundamentally quite a shy, quiet person and how that was very much the case as a child – the sort of child who always held back from answering questions in class because I was afraid of giving the wrong answer (even if I knew the right answer). As a shy teenager, very aware of my own shortcomings, I doubted whether I was good enough for God but, in my late teens, I was shown Romans 5. 8, which says “while we were still sinners Christ died for us,” by a youth group leader and, as a result, recommitted my life to Christ.
I realised that if Jesus died for me, while I was still a sinner, I was accepted and loved by him as I was. That took all the anxiety and worry out of my relationship with God and it transformed the way I felt and thought about myself. If God loved me so much that he had died for me, it didn’t really matter what other people thought about me, even if they didn’t think much of me.
I came to God as a very ordinary person who felt under-confident and inadequate. Contrary to popular belief, we do not have to be perfect to do God's work. We need look no further than the twelve disciples whose many weaknesses are forever preserved throughout the pages of the New Testament. Jesus chose ordinary people - fisherman, tax collectors, political zealots - and turned their weaknesses into strengths (Matthew 9.35 - 10.8).
While Jesus had a large number of followers including women as well as men and those who remained at home to support those who were on the road with Jesus, this passage focuses our attention on the 12 who were amongst the first that were called to follow him, were amongst those closest to him and who became apostles following his Ascension.
Their names, as given here, are: The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; and James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew (Nathanael); Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaeus (James the Less), and Thaddaeus (Judas, son of James); Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot, the one who betrayed Him. (Matthew 10:2-4, emphasis added)
What do we know about them? Peter and Andrew were fishermen in the town of Capernaum working alongside James and John. Peter and Andrew were early followers of John the Baptist. Andrew was the first to follow Jesus and his enthusiasm was evident as his desire to introduce his older brother to Jesus revealed what was already in his heart—a deep love for God. Once Peter was introduced to Jesus, they left John and became followers of Jesus. Peter is portrayed as impetuous, always speaking his mind and acting on impulse. He is well known for denying Christ three times after Christ was arrested but became one of the key leaders of the early church after Jesus’ ascension.
James and John were both known for being men of intense passion and fervour. Because of this Jesus nicknamed them the Sons of Thunder. They asked Jesus if they should call down fire from heaven to destroy a village which failed to show them hospitality and also asked if they could sit on either side of Jesus’ throne in heaven. Philip was the one who suggested that Nathanael come and see Jesus and who brought a group of Greek people from Bethsaida to Jesus. Nathanael, also known as Bartholomew, expressed some local prejudice about Nazareth but was recognised by Jesus for the sincerity of his love for God from the beginning of their relationship. Jesus said, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” Matthew was a tax collector; tax collectors being the most despised people in all of Israel. They were known for taking extra money from the people of Israel to pay off the Romans and to pad their own pockets. Thomas is best known for his moment of scepticism after the Resurrection which earned him the nickname “Doubting Thomas,” a term for anyone who needs proof before they believe something.
James the Less is the son of Alphaeus. His mother’s name is Mary and he has a brother named Joseph. Except for a few details about his family, there is nothing more mentioned about him in Scripture. Maybe that is why he is referred to as James the Less in Mark 15:40. Simon the Zealot was probably a political activist in his younger years. Some have suggested that the fiery enthusiasm he once had for Israel as a Zealot was now expressed in his devotion to Christ. Judas, son of James, is the eleventh name on the list of disciples. Also known as Jude, Thaddeus, and Lebbaeus, he lived in obscurity as one of the Twelve. He is recorded as asking Jesus the question (in John 14:22), “Lord, why are you going to reveal yourself only to us and not to the world at large?” Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver but, by doing so, enabled the events of Christ’s Passion to occur as Jesus knew they would.
So, amongst those that Jesus chose are one who denied him, another who betrayed him; while all of them abandoned him at the last. Some were ambitious and some revengeful. Some had complicated and morally dubious backgrounds. They were primarily ordinary working people; none of whom held influence or power. Some were so obscure, even among the disciples, that we know virtually nothing about them.
They are, therefore, great encouragements to us ‘because they exemplify how common people with typical failings can be used by God in uncommon, remarkable ways.’ John McArthur writes, ‘What we know to be true about Jesus is that He chose [those who were] ordinary and unrefined … They were the commonest of the common. They were from rural areas, farmers, and fisherman. Christ purposely passed over the elite, aristocratic, and influential … and chose mostly … from the dregs of society. That’s how it has always been in God’s economy. He exalts the humble and lays low those who are proud.’
All of them were chosen, trained and used by Jesus. Even those who were in the background as disciples were valuable team members. This was so despite their personal failings and failures. None of those things were barriers to being called by Jesus, trained and used by him. That remains true for each of us.
In my parish we use a course called ’Being With’ to prepare people for baptism and confirmation. The wonderings we use in the course take me back to my teenage experiences and the shyness that impacted my personal development. An experience summed well in The Smiths song ‘Ask’, which begins ‘Shyness is nice / and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life that you’d like to.’
Realising that God loved me unconditionally and as I was, with my shyness and reserve, was key to finding my way through life and using the mix of gifts, skills and interests I developed. Like Jesus’ disciples I wasn’t an obvious candidate to be called to ministry. But none of us are; that’s the beauty of the way God values each person as a unique creation, calling us to be with him so that, over time, our gifts, skills and interests are all utilised in his company.
Baptism is the beginning of that journey when we first realise that God loves as we are and wants to be with us as we journey through life. In baptism God invites us on a life-long journey together with him and, as that journey begins, we hear him say to us, ‘You are my beloved son or daughter, with you I am well pleased’. When we know that in our hearts then we can grow into the people that God wants us to be. May it be so for each one of us. Amen.
(This reflection draws on material from https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/bible-study/who-were-the-12-disciples-and-what-should-we-know-about-them.html and https://overviewbible.com/12-apostles/)
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Josh Garrels - A Long Way.
