One of the bands that young people are wearing on their arms these days have the letters WWJD on them. WWJD stands for What Would Jesus Do and, when Romans 15. 1 - 13 says “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,” this passage is saying that you can’t follow a better rule of thumb in life or in marriage than that.
So as we think What Would Jesus Do in marriage we start by asking what does it mean to the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had. St Paul
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 Instead of this, of his own free will he gave up all he had,
and took the nature of a servant.
He became like a human being
and appeared in human likeness.
8 He was humble and walked the path of obedience all the way to death—
his death on the cross.
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 Instead of this, of his own free will he gave up all he had,
and took the nature of a servant.
He became like a human being
and appeared in human likeness.
8 He was humble and walked the path of obedience all the way to death—
his death on the cross.
In marriage you are equal partners but, if you want to have the same attitude as Jesus, you won’t use your equality for your own advantage. Instead, each of you will do all you can to serve the other by giving all that you have and are to the other. God so loved that he gave and it is when we are in the mindset of giving to others that we are most fully in the mindset of Christ.
According to Paul, in Romans 15. 1 - 13, this means bearing with the failings of the other by not pleasing ourselves and seeking to please our neighbours for their good, to build them up. So, Paul is commending patience with the failings of the other and affirmation and encouragement of the other in order to build that person up. Remember, of course, that this intended to be mutual - two-way support and affirmation – but you should also be able to see that true love always involves sacrifice. In Jesus’ case, as we were reminded by the Philippians reading, this involved the ultimate sacrifice of his own life. Married love rarely involves the ultimate sacrifice but, when we are told to please our partner for their good rather than pleasing ourselves, we can see that sacrifice is involved.
Finally Paul says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.” Ultimately, your relationship needs to be based not just on the love that you have for each other but on the love that Jesus has for each of you as individuals. He accepts you as you are – while you were still sinners he died for you. He didn’t wait for you to change and earn his love before dying for you. No, while you were still turned away from him is when he poured out his love on you by making the ultimate sacrifice for you. You are both loved equally and eternally by God and it is as you receive that love and marvel at that love that you will see the true beauty of your partner.
Let’s be frank, there are days for all of us who are married when we don’t feel love towards our partner. For whatever reason, there are days when we feel angry or frustrated with them. In those moments, we need to remember that ultimately the worth of our partner does not lie in what she or he has done to us or how I feel about that, their true worth lies in the fact that Jesus loved them so much that he gave his own life for them. When we allow that reality to come into the mix then it becomes possible to bear with the failings of our partner, not please ourselves and seek to please our partner for their good, to build them up.
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Delirious? - Hang On To You.
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