The experience of being the Theotokos, the God-bearer, was a difficult one for Mary (Matthew 1.18-25). Difficult, because she was not believed - both by those closest to her and those who didn’t really know her. Mary was engaged to Joseph when the annunciation occurred. As she was found to be with child before they lived together, Joseph planned to dismiss her quietly. He had his own meeting with Gabriel which changed that decision but, if the man to whom she was betrothed, could not believe her without angelic intervention, then it would be no surprise if disbelief and misunderstanding characterised the response to Mary wherever she went.
We can learn much from Mary’s faith, trust and persistence in the face of disbelief, misunderstanding and probable insult. Our experience in times of trouble and difficulty will be similar as, on the one hand, God asks us to trust and persevere while, on the other, he will provide us with moments of support and strengthening.
Mary has been given many titles down the ages but ‘the earliest ‘title’, agreed throughout the church in the first centuries of our faith, before the divisions of East and West, Catholic and Protestant, was Theotokos, which means God-Bearer. 'She is the prime God-Bearer, bearing for us in time the One who was begotten in eternity, and every Christian after her seeks to become in some small way a God-bearer, one whose ‘yes’ to God means that Christ is made alive and fruitful in the world through our flesh and our daily lives, is born and given to another.’ In his poem ‘Theotokos’, Malcolm Guite suggests some ways in which Mary’s experience can speak to us and inspire us in the challenges we face as we go through life:
You bore for me the One who came to bless
And bear for all and make the broken whole.
You heard His call and in your open ‘yes’
You spoke aloud for every living soul.
Oh gracious Lady, child of your own child,
Whose mother-love still calls the child in me,
Call me again, for I am lost, and wild
Waves surround me now. On this dark sea
Shine as a star and call me to the shore.
Open the door that all my sins would close
And hold me in your garden. Let me share
The prayer that folds the petals of the Rose.
Enfold me too in Love’s last mystery
And bring me to the One you bore for me.
Mary is centre-stage is the drama of the Nativity but there is also a role for those who simply stand and wait. Joseph is also an example to us because his calling was to quietly support the calling of Mary – to marry her, to name the child, to raise him: ‘Joseph simply does as he was told. For him, belief is action. Quietly, Joseph cared for Mary. Quietly, he raised the child and named him Jesus. Quietly, he believed and acted.’ (https://www.premierchristianity.com/opinion/josephs-silent-submission-to-marys-god-given-calling-is-real-biblical-manhood/14578.article)
Joseph must have had the patience of a saint, as it must have taken an incredible amount of patience to follow God's plan, and to support his wife throughout their trials and tribulations. He was also the epitome of discretion. Despite the miraculous circumstances of Jesus' conception, he kept Mary's secret safe, showing incredible respect for her and her divine calling. He diligently provided for the physical and emotional needs of his family. He working to ensure their safety, sustenance. He humbly accepted God's will and obediently followed His guidance, even when it meant facing challenges and uncertainties. His humility allowed him to support Mary in her unique calling without seeking recognition or glory for himself (https://aleteia.org/2024/03/02/8-ways-st-joseph-was-a-wonderful-husband-to-mary). These are all great qualities that we can take into our own experiences of supporting and caring for others.
To end, here’s a short poem by Madeleine L’Engle imagining Mary speaking about Joseph, her spouse.
It was from Joseph first I learned
of love. Like me he was dismayed.
How easily he could have turned
me from his house; but, unafraid,
he put me not away from him
(O God-sent angel, pray for him).
Thus through his love was Love obeyed.
The Child’s first cry came like a bell:
God’s Word aloud, God’s Word in deed.
The angel spoke: so it befell,
and Joseph with me in my need.
O Child whose father came from heaven,
to you another gift was given,
your earthly father chosen well.
With Joseph I was always warmed
and cherished. Even in the stable
I knew that I would not be harmed.
And, though above the angels swarmed,
man’s love it was that made me able
to bear God’s love, wild, formidable,
to bear God’s will, through me performed.
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Madeleine L'Engle - First Coming.
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